A public service announcement

Today I’m going to perform a public service for the newcomers of Beacon Hill. I’m going to explain how experienced Beacon Hill residents walk.

You’ve probably noticed that we do it in the street. That’s because many neighborhood sidewalks are too narrow for one person if you are carrying a bag. They are definitely too narrow for two people to walk abreast on.  Moreover, since we allow trash to sit on the sidewalk for 48 hours every week there is no room for a person to get by even if we are extremely thin and careful.

Walking in the street has many advantages. One man in a motorized wheel chair once told me he loved living at the top of the Hill because he could zip around on the streets and not have to worry about sharing the sidewalks with people. The streets were wide enough for both him and pedestrians. Moreover, he didn’t have to bother with ramps leading to sidewalks and all the other adaptations for his vehicle that he would have had to endure if he lived in some place with wide sidewalks. Actually, he couldn’t get up the Hill on sidewalks anyway because his chair was too wide for them.

You’ve probably noticed that people walk in the street even when cars are rolling by. That’s because pedestrians are more practical than drivers. We know it is folly to drive on the Hill, not just because so many pedestrians occupy the street, but we don’t want to move our car from the parking space we hunted for yesterday for 45 minutes. We also know that when we get to wherever we are going there won’t be a place to park anyway.         Drivers are either baffled by the number of people in the street or used to it. They are so used to it that my friend in the wheel chair said he always felt safe. What you have to watch out for isn’t a car, it’s a bicycle. I once saw a bicycle run into an elderly man walking across Charles Street. The bicyclist started shouting at the man, who was lying in the street, but conscious, for not looking before he crossed. Of course the bicyclist was going fast the wrong way down Charles Street, and the man had been looking in the direction in which he expected vehicles to come. After all, the street is one way.

Now that I’ve brought up Charles Street, you’ve probably noticed that at least half the people cross in the middle of the block, not at the crosswalks. You’ve also noticed that they pay no attention to the walk signals.

That’s because having walk signals on Charles Street is daffy. There isn’t enough traffic on the side streets, even on Mount Vernon, for lights to make any sense. So no one ever waits for a walk signal. There should be stop signs on Charles Street. That would slow down the traffic more effectively and would allow the pedestrians to do what they do anyway.

Speaking of walk lights, are you wondering what those buttons on the traffic light poles are for? They’ve for making happy Boston Transportation Department employees who honestly think they are keeping us safer than any other citizens of any American city. The BTD thinks we’re supposed to push them and then at some point we’ll get a walk light. Of course, those of us who’ve been around for awhile are pretty sure that they don’t work, since a lot of other stuff in Boston doesn’t, so we push them for the exercise and then walk anyway, since no cars are coming.

I’m sure you’ve worried about crossing the street at Charles Circle. Most of us have at one time or another. But then we got used to it. The cars have no idea where they are supposed to go, and they’re changing lanes and the drivers are looking over their shoulders at a big truck that is bearing down on them, so they naturally go slower than they otherwise would. That leaves all kinds of time for imaginative moves on the part of pedestrians. And the proof is in the pudding. Charles Circle is never on a list of dangerous intersections.

The place you’ve really got to be careful is at Beacon and Charles streets, which had, between 2002 and 2009, 11 pedestrian accidents requiring an ambulance, or the intersection of Cambridge and New Chardon/Bowdoin streets, which had 10 pedestrian disasters during the same time period.

Now that I’ve performed the public service about walking, I’m now going to tell you about driving.

Don’t. It’s quicker to walk.